Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

I don’t watch or listen to advertising

Why do women have sex with dogs?

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

Is it appropriate for parents to discipline their child in public if the child is being rude, disrespectful, and unruly towards them? Why or why not?

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

I see through liars

How can I handle my distrust and jealousy for my partner?

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

Why do some people hesitate to say 'I love you' even after their partners have said it first? How can one interpret this behavior from their loved ones?

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

Brain Adapts to Neuron Loss Through Rapid Rewiring - Neuroscience News

I know who the president of Turkey really is

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

What makes someone feel "rich enough" in different societies?

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

Who was the actor least deserving of an Academy Award?

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

I don’t buy bullshit

If there exists a “New York of Australia”, is it Sydney or Melbourne?

I don’t cotton to rapists

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

Elon Musk posts throwback to SpaceX’s garage days after the 500th Falcon rocket launch; his caption reads - Times of India

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

Is it normal to hate my dog, but feel too guilty to get rid of him?

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

I took the same Oath and took it seriously

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

I understand how hurricane paths work

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

I have a reading level above third grade

I have complete contempt for fakery

I actually pay taxes

I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

If someone works for me, I actually pay them

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:

I can count

I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

I have complete contempt for traitorism

I can read

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet